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The Slow Family Project

One family's journey to slow down.

When I started this blog last year, the intent was to track a lifestyle change. A complete 360 turnaround, a new city, new home, new routine, new friends. New, everything.

Here we are.

We made it. And I cannot believe that in practically a blink of an eye, we are 12 months later.

 

The Weather here in Vancouver is finally getting dryer and warmer. One of the things I’ve been procrastinating on big time, is hanging a clothes line.

Last weekend I hung my clothes along the gutters. Sad, but true. I wanted to time it out – I couldn’t remember how long it took for clothes to dry outside. I was amazed at how fast they dried and the smell was nostalgic. There’s something about the smell of line dried clothing. My Mom used to line dry our clothes and they always stayed fresh for so long. There must be something in the air…

Why am I doing this all of a sudden?

Save Money

Save Energy

Lessen the need for Chemicals

Preserving the Quality of the Clothing

Using the natural Lightening capabilities of the Sun

The Meditation of Hanging them and Taking them off

Do you line dry or use the dryer? If you line dry, any tips?

It looks like its been about a week since I last wrote. At that time, it looks like I was in a bit of a tiff about something I completely forget now. Don’t you love it how time heals all the small stuff?

We’ve just returned from a Family gathering in Seattle. My Brother Graduated with his Doctorate in Naturopathy from Bastyr. An accomplishment 8 years in the making.

Since embarking on this chapter of my life “Chapter Slow”, I really have actually felt a shift in my sensory awareness. Today, as I left the Train as it docked at the Station, the smell of the Pulp Mill in the summer breeze with a slight hint of smoke-filled the air. It just really made me feel relaxed for some reason. So I just took deep breaths and took it all in. Something so everyday, turned extraordinary. So simple. But it calmed me down.

I`ve been tracking a bunch of new writers and really enjoying reading about other families living totally different lifestyles than I could ever imagine. I didn`t have any expectations for myself. I just decided one day that was it. And I threw in the towel and surrendered to needing stuff, money, business. But I am finding myself reading about other Moms who are Homeschooling, bookmarking the blogs with ideas of what to do at home (now that we have NO TV!) and taking stock of all the things that I WILL NOW HAVE TIME TO DO with my kid!

PS

Week 1 of No TV Update:

We cut the cable a week ago. Its been AMAZING. Instead of the cluttered noise in the background, I write. We sit on the couch and connect, we talk! Yes, we have conversation! I know, its sad, you`d think this was normal, but it really is amazing when you start to talk and converse more and you realize how little you did.

No more breakfast with TV. The little one is slowly asking for less of her recorded programs. I can tell she does not miss it. We`ve done a lot more in the last week than we have in the last month without it and its awesome.

Random post today. Journal style.

On to something more positive now…ah. Got that out!

I’ve been stumbling across a crap load of fantastic blogs recently. Most of them geared towards Family Life, Ideas, Other Blogs that relate to this journey…

Since I can’t figure out how to post them along the side I will post here for now.

Early Bird Homeschool

Even if you aren’t Homeschooling, there are some great ideas for things to do with your kids. Really neat ideas to spend slow time together!

The Grass Stain Guru

Nature activities. Make your outdoor excursions fun again.

Free Range Kids

Absolutely, top of the list. Great author, great concept.

Lets Explore

Simple ways to create, discover and play.

Simple Kids

Just plain simple. Kids.

Simple Mom

Simple. For Mom.

Slow Family Living

And we all know of Bernadette Noll.

More to come!

So I’m not totally sure I know exactly how I am going to structure this post today. But I do want to say upfront, that I am writing emotionally tonight. My daughter just asked me “Do you have an owie” after seeing my blood-shot, cried out eyes watch her playing in the tub tonight.

I guess I’ve just had it with people’s opinions about my life. What I’m doing. How I’m going to do it. Where I’m going to live. What am I going to do. Yes, me and my family are making changes. So?

Can’t we all just be happy for one another and get out of our ego stricken states of mind? And another thing that’s bothering me lately is this. The way we Judge one another. And especially how we Mother.

I really didn’t want this to be a negative post. But I think some people just might relate, so I will just let loose.

Becoming a Mom, being a Mom. And I’m sure, becoming a Father and being a Father too…comes along with it a force for you to come to terms with your values, the cycles you’ve grown with and would like to change and what you really, really want out of life. At least for us, it has done this for us. Looking back to the day we brought our daughter home to today, we have done a complete transformation and the effects of this are only coming to life.

But why do you have to rain on my parade?

It has been an interesting couple of weeks. I gave notice at my “job”. The next thing people ask “What are you going to do now? Do you have a job in the new city?” A few people can relate. And that has been surprising. That people do “get” the concept of living slowly and more frugally.

I do feel the emotions that result from Judgement. Why do I feel this? Is this me? Where does this come from? Why can’t people  just be happy and supportive. Understanding. Compassionate. Not jealous. Why do we spend time judging one another? I guess it feeds the Ego. I guess this is just the way it is.

I just want to be a Mother. And so I am able to do this. So what? Why do you lament?

We live in a community. Let’s support one another in all our decisions.

This crazy world could end tomorrow. Life is here for all of us to live, the way we dream it. It’s my hope that somehow, we can overcome whatever it is that is holding us back from living authentically, which means supporting each other  in whatever it is that you want to do with your life. (well may be not people over at BP, but you catch my drift).

Don’t Judge.

How many times did you check your Facebook today?

If you are the typical user, you’ve checked your Facebook 27 times this past hour.

Can you believe this?

Recently, after returning from a family trip to Las Vegas (Father in Law purchased for us for Christmas), I received an email from my Sister in Law titled “???”. I opened the email to find her asking if I’d taken her off my “Friends” list and what was going on?

Is it really this bad? That if someone would like to take a sabbatical from Facebook (like, ah, me) in pursuit of their dream to be less cluttered and time drained on digital social networking sites, that this means you are not friends? I guess to be fair, one might wonder why one day you are friends and then the next you can’t access their pages. I get it. But I guess so this is life now for us all. That we have become so accustomed to this social networking tool, that it has become a way of life, a way to think of one another. To relate.

I took about a 3 week hiatus from all things Facebook. I de-activated my account and didn’t look back.

Recently things have slowed down (quitting my job was one BIG HUGE relief here) and I found myself last week perusing the wall again. But this time I found I was looking in with a fresher perspective. For some reason I was less interested and it seemed far less trivial to me. I’m not sure for how much longer I will stay “activated”. I have learned that in fact, I don’t really get much out of it anyway.

Will I stay or will I go? I think I will go soon enough.

Cable is off as of tomorrow. This will be another B-I-G Media change for our family. I know this will be a good thing. I can’t wait.

Life is starting to feel much, much lighter these days :)

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/07/technology/07brain.html

Last night I found myself on the Ministry of Education (here in Canada) website looking at the Curriculum for my daughter from Kindergarten to Grade 9. It has me thinking. Really thinking. Thinking about the types of things she will learn. Thinking about the classroom setting in which she will learn some of these values, life lessons.

Alright, I will come out and say it. I’m a bit afraid.

Most of the curriculum seems to make sense. Basic life lessons, how to act appropriately, basic letter and number skills – the foundation. And that is not what is concerning me.

What concerns me is that they have a whole section dedicated to “Career Development” and it is described as such in the Table of Contents itself!

So I was curious to read into the other Grades curriculum. Honestly, I was shocked to find that every single Grade has this integrated into the plan in some way. By Grade 5, the students are measured based on their determination of what they want to do when they grow up! And their “success” being “measured” on their ability to set solid “goals” and “achieve” these goals. Sorry, but Grade 5? Are you kidding me? Obviously not.

Sorry, forgive me here, but what happened to Childhood? Why are we putting this on our children so young, to think about “Career”. I didn’t even know what the word “Career” meant until I was at least in Grade 10. And even then, I had no idea! I still have no idea what I want to do when I grow up! (Kind of) (LOL)

This achievement, success by goal setting/attaining goals culture is frightening me.I’m sure there has got to be a way to balance this. May be I home-school for a period of time, while integrating her into other programs to get out and socialize and play? May be we just let go of this concern?

Do you home-school? How do you integrate the children into the school system at a certain age? Is this possible?

Happy Monday morning to you all. Hope that your weekend was relaxing and you feel rejuvenated!

We had a lovely dinner with family yesterday evening. My sister-in-law cooks the best Indian food you’ve ever tasted. Joining us were another couple, friends of the family (long story the relations). We were filling them in on our pending move and down size and it sparked them to share with us their hopes to do the same thing! Wow, and I thought we were probably going to be an anomaly, trying to justify everything – why we were giving up our salaries, the stuff, the house. But they are completely planning to do the same thing. It was so enlightening. But it was also interesting because they are where we were at a couple of years ago, still in the state of fear. Fear of giving up, well, let’s just be frank here, Income.

So how do you balance this? I don’t know yet. But what I do know is that it does take a lot of planning to down size – especially when you’ve been living beyond your means normally. Trimming the fat is especially hard. We have all become accustomed to living with more than we need; it just makes it harder when you make a conscious decision to get off of a treadmill.

So how do you afford to live a simpler life if this means you feel to do this you must leave work, the salary and the career status? Well, I suppose it’s not so much about how do I plan to do this, it’s more about how could I afford NOT to do this? And that is just it.

I suppose there are a couple of lessons I can share that I have learned that have helped me get here.

A simple, easy to read and use spreadsheet

For many years, I’ve used a very basic spreadsheet to track bi-weekly expenses. I can forecast for months in advance. It’s strange – I guess this just came second nature to me because of the nature of what I do. But its been enlightening to find out that most people do not cash flow or predict more than a month or two at a time.

This helps you with peace of mind, especially when you are planning a way out. If you have a reasonable prediction of incoming and for a reasonable amount of time into the future, you are able to predict everything.

I don’t have a template I can direct you to, but if you are interested and running Excel, I can send you the one I use.

Pre-paid my bills

The thought of dumping money onto my electricity bill in excess makes me cringe. But at least for one year, I don’t have that bill.

Savings for a year: Priceless

Yes, this may be temporary (one year or so) but at least it will help me transition and by that time, we will have had time to reduce and therefore, prepare for being able to pay monthly bills normally again.

Canceled subscriptions that aren’t aligned with our new life

The day I cancelled cable, I honestly felt a weight lifted.

Savings for a year: $1200.00

We don’t need this in our life anyway.

Delt with the Cell Phones

Called both our cell phone suppliers and down-graded our plans and helped get everything back into check. I discovered they had added a whole crap load of features we never authorized and the list goes on. Basically, they are scammers.

Savings for a year: $1200.00

Meal Planning

We’ve been doing this for a while, but have slipped out recently. It was much easier to do when I was on Maternity Leave and since I will have this time, I will be able to do this more. A great site is Wovenfare. Two SAHM who have done an awesome job. The shopping list is organized by dept. – it’s amazing.

Savings for a year (prediction): $10-15,000

Consciously not over committing

I specifically told the bank NOT to qualify us for more than a certain amount when we go to shop for a new home in the new city. So we might have a smaller place, but it will be smaller to take care of (less time vacuuming and more time for my family) and less out the door every month allowing us to put our income into other places that will benefit in the longer term. I have determined that a good portion of Mortgage Brokers are crooks. Over qualifying (even lying sometimes about income!! Can you believe it) just to make their commission check. Disaster.

~

So there we go. A few little experiences of mine along the journey to live a simpler life. Stepping stones, I suppose. I’m sure there will be many more along the way as I re-jig the budget month to month to allow for this transition.

How do you trim the fat?

A few very relatable posts from one of my newest favorites…okay one more!

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